Have you ever planned to do something with the aim of making a change? Eating healthier foods. Securing a new job. Going for a promotion. Taking more exercise only to self sabotage your own success.
Self–sabotage is the fine art of taking action against yourself, convincing yourself you don’t want the things you actually do and driving away opportunity.
Why do we do this?
We all have programs running in the background. These programs run in our subconscious mind.
The programs have developed through conditioning from our parents, siblings, peers and the media and much more.
The programs surface throughout our life.
Let me share a couple of programs that were running in my subconscious.
It’s a hard life!!!
When I was young I used to hear these words from my Dad.
First thing in a morning he would light a cigarette, take a drink from his cup, stroke the dog then say ‘It’s a hard life’.
Dad had had various jobs, latterly as a lorry driver. He was a lovely man and I miss him so much.
Unbeknown to Dad he was not aware of the impact the words had on my life as I began my working career.
After doing various things including working in a warehouse, being a signalman, then moving into sales and marketing and eventually running a £10m food business I was sat in my office thinking how did this happen. I never planned to run a food business. Opportunities had come my way.
It had not been that hard.
Then the ‘It’s a hard life’ program started running.
I began to make things hard. I began to doubt my own ability.
I realised the fun had stopped. I began thinking I was a fraud.
At this moment the program was running, but I was not aware of it.
When I realised I worked with a coach to help change the program.
“You will always be a 9 to 5 waller”.
These words were actually said to me albeit I am still not sure what a ‘waller’ is?
I had left British Rail and became self-employed selling accident insurance door to door.
As it turned out the company I had joined was not the most reputable company in the insurance industry.
I quickly realised it was not for me. My thoughts were if I could not sell the product with confidence to my own family, how can I sell to others.
The day came to hand back my stuff. On the day I handed them back my manager uttered the words “You will always be a 9 to 5 waller”.
Wow, the damage those words did for a while. I rejoined British Rail. I went back into my comfort zone even though I wanted to move into a sales role.
Fortunately, I had a great mentor in my cousin who worked in sales and this 9 to 5 program did not become too engrained in the subconscious program and I went on to do my own thing.
The programs we have running can sabotage the things we want to do.
Becoming aware of the programs is the first step on the road to making a change. The next step is changing the program.
I wonder what programs you may be running that sabotage your own success?
Have a brilliant day.